You may have heard about it in passing, or seen Internet memes, or perhaps you have never heard of it at all. But it’s coming. Yes, Eurovision Song Contest 2017 is coming!
You may be asking me at this point: What is heck is this? Just bear with me. After World War II when a lot of Europe was rebuilding, some people got together to find something that would bring the countries together and be happy. So they devised Eurovision Song Contest. It’s been around since 1955 and it continues to grow. I’ll try to break it down for you as simply as possible.
First, there are the “Big Five”: United Kingdom, Germany, Spain, France, and Italy. They always qualify no matter what. Because they have the largest populations and put the most money toward television, they automatically qualify for the finals every year. The winner country from previous year also always qualifies. The winner country from the previous year also gets to host the contest the following year. So last year, Ukraine won, so they are automatically qualified and they will be hosting this year.
For the rest of the countries, they are divided into two semi-finals a few days before the actual final. These are broadcast on TV and the Big Five countries vote on who is going through to the finals. The ten winners from each semi-final qualify for the final. Side note: They are a little flexible on the meaning of “Europe”. Israel and Azerbaijan almost always compete and lately they’ve been letting Australia compete, leading to some perplexed viewers.
So you may be asking me, “How do they choose the song/artist?” or even, “Why?!”
Well first of all, the song and artist are usually chosen in a national broadcast a few months before and the country votes on who they want to send to Eurovision. Unless your Francisco Franco in 1969 who found out the Catalan performer was going to sing in Catalan and then replaced him with a Spanish singer … oh and then paid for votes. Go Fascism! There was some controversy (in Spain, again) this year because the girl who placed first in the fan votes was overruled by the judges who decided Manel Navarro would be the better one to send.
And why? As I was introducing this to my mom, she was asking me, “Well, why? What’s the point?” Well, just because. You’ll never know what is going to happen. There are funny performances, beautiful performances, and also scratch your head performances. Some countries, like Sweden, take the contest seriously. Other countries like the UK and Spain don’t.
Now you are probably thinking, “Well that’s not fair. The UK has wonderful artists and they probably win every year.” Wrong. They’ve actually won five times, but they haven’t won since the late ‘90s. You would think they could send Adele over there and perform a new original song and win all the votes, but they usually send some unknowns over there. Also, they almost always never do well because of the voting.
The voting can have some of the skepticism of a Dancing with the Stars voting. 50% of the votes are from the people, 50% from music judges. You also can’t vote for your own country … and they charge you to vote. The vote reveal is one of my favorite parts of the show. They go to each country (including the ones who didn’t make it to the finals) and show which votes their country is giving. First places gets twelves points, second place gets ten points, third place get eight points, and then seven, six, five … etc. going on.
The country with the most votes at the end, wins and gets to perform an encore. They also get to host the next year’s contest.
Are you confused yet? Do you still not understand the point? Well, I’ve compiled some videos that I enjoy watching to hopefully capture your attention.
“1944” – Jamala (Ukraine)
This was the winner from last year. It was not my favorite, but it was very powerful and political. The song is about Soviets deported Crimean Tatars and shipping them off the Central Asia during World War II. The singer’s family was affected and you can clearly see it in her performance that it was emotional for her. It was also politically relevant with the annexation of Crimea in recent times. Russia will not be competing this time around because the singer is unable to enter Ukraine for political reasons dealing with Crimea.
“Heroes” – Mans Zelmerlow (Sweden)
This is one of my favorites. It changed the game and you could see several people last year trying to copy or imitate his ideas. He won in 2015, meaning Sweden hosted last year’s final. I think this song is just fun and entertaining. I also heard this on the radio when I went to Sweden for the first time, which probably increased my love for it.
“Golden Boy” – Nadav Guedj (Israel)
First off, this dude is sixteen years old in this video. YES, SIXTEEN. He starts off with some strong vocals and then BAM! He hits you with some jazziness. You’ll be wanting to go off to Tel Aviv after this. My mom was “shaking her head” watching this, but it placed ninth! Not bad!
“Waterloo” – ABBA (Sweden)
A classic most of us know. Before they achieved international stardom, they won Eurovision in 1974. It’s also interesting to see how much Eurovision has changed since the 70s. Still a good song nonetheless.
“Dschinghis Khan” – Dschingis Khan (Germany)
I found this one while scouring the Internet for funny Eurovision songs and this does not disappoint. What can beat a dancing Genghis Khan? Nowadays this would probably be claimed as cultural insensitivity, but just enjoy the disco jams and laugh away.
“Run Away” – Sunstroke Project and Olia Tira (Moldova)
You may have seen part of this with the ten hours of the saxophone guy. On top of the sax man with the killer moves, it opens up with a guy playing a violin with a light up bow while spinning around. They are back for 2017 and I am excited to see what they show up with!
“Baila el Chiki Chiki” – Rodolfo Chikilicuatre (Spain)
Spain is not one of the countries that takes the contest very seriously, as evidenced by this. I was told though that this did receive more votes than normal because it was just so silly. The lyrics are pretty basic, mostly just talking about who dances the Chiki Chiki, Jose Luis does, his mom, etc. He also gives you the four steps you need to dance the Chiki Chiki.
“Hard Rock Hallelujah” – Lordi (Finland)
Believe it or not, this won in 2006. When I showed my mom this video, she said, “I’m voting for them!” Who doesn’t love people in monster masks playing Christian heavy metal?
“Rise like a Phoenix” – Conchita Wurst (Austria)
If you are an American who has heard of Eurovision, you most likely heard about it during this year. Conchita Wurst was the winner in 2014. Everyone was pretty amazed by this, but the year following this spectacular win, Austria received ZERO points while hosting in their home country.
“Europhoria” – Loreen (Sweden)
One of my favorites, it almost doesn’t seem like a Eurovision song. I first heard this song on the radio during my study abroad trip to Spain. It’s catchy and uplifting and never grows old.
So there you have it! You could really spend a lot of time searching YouTube watching some crazy and beautiful performances. If you’re interested in watching Eurovision this year, you’re in luck! It will be broadcast live on Saturday, May 13 at 3 PM on LOGO. Last year Justin Timberlake showed up (and showed up every single performance), so you never know what will happen!
Performance Order:
1. Israel
2. Poland
3. Belarus
4. Austria
5. Armenia
6. The Netherlands
7. Moldova
8. Hungary
9. Italy
10. Denmark
11. Portugal
12. Azerbaijan
13. Croatia
14. Australia
15. Greece
16. Spain
17. Norway
18. United Kingdom
19. Cyprus
20. Romania
21. Germany
22. Ukraine
23. Belgium
24. Sweden
25. Bulgaria
26. France
Will you be turning in to Eurovison 2017 this year? What’s your favorite performance ever?
